On planning and taking action

I love planning. I have no clue how many plans I have made so far in my life, whether small or big, short-term or long-term. I used to believe that my plans had to be flawless, that I had to wait for the perfect time and perfect conditions to implement them. But in time, I realised that my beliefs about planning weren’t effective for getting things done.

One thing I found useful for achieving this sort of mind shift was reminding myself that even military combat plans are continuously modified according to the course of the war. That is, almost all plans have flaws from the beginning. Honestly, I’ve never seen a plan where everything is predictable, a plan that can be implemented without a single interruption. This awareness has helped me to switch from an “endless thinking” mode to an “action” mode. This helped me become a more productive person, because I was able to move forward more easily.  

Most of us tend to think that the most significant aspect of planning or plans is the beginning, as if it won’t be possible to change things after we start implementing the plan. Some of us panic in the face of little interruptions, and some of us are even afraid of making plans in the first place. But how many things in life go exactly as planned? If all plans were flawless, the beginning would indeed be critically important. And yes, for health-related plans, it’s understandable that we want to be very careful and structure the beginning well -- but for plans that are less risky, it might be better to be flexible in our thinking.  

Plans are, naturally, not without flaws. For this reason, in many occasions what’s important is not our ability to come up with a perfect plan, but the capacity to change certain aspects of the plan as we go along and adjust to unexpected situations. The Greek philosopher Heraclitus said that “the only thing that is constant is change.” As anxiety-provoking as it is, life will always challenge us to adjust to something new. Think about relationships. As individuals, we all change over time to a certain extent: our belief systems, the way we cope with problems, our skill sets. This also leads to changes in the way we act in a given relationship. The circumstances of the relationship also change; for example, we experience important life events. Therefore, it’s quite normal that the relationships we have with others undergo certain changes. Our challenge is to adjust to these changes. No relationship is perfect from the beginning. Similarly, losing a job or starting a new one, moving to a new city or a new country, or having a baby require us to make constant adjustments, fix things, or give things up. So, plans can and should be planned again, and again. This is a process requiring us to regularly design things, not a one-shot effort.

No matter how much you plan in advance before you raise a child, is it really possible to strictly follow that plan along the way? Neither you nor your child will behave as you imagined or predicted. You can probably relate to this if you already have children. What the books or your plans say will be irrelevant or impossible to apply. Or you will at least see that it needs modifications. 

Good plans can certainly make our work easier. They can help us be more motivated and enthusiastic about our goals, and they can boost self-regulation. After all, a good plan is a constant reminder of what we’re supposed to being doing. But remember that rather than wasting too much time obsessing about the beginning and the structure of a plan, it might be more practical and effective to make changes in the plan as you go along. It’s okay to stumble or fall down. It’s ok to deviate from what you first planned. It’s okay to change personally; it’s not a weakness or a failure, but actually a necessity. Only by doing so can you accurately predict challenges, obstacles and threats.

Personally, I don’t obsess about labels such as “the best’, “the most ideal”, or “the strongest” anymore. Rather, I hold on to a good enough plan along with essential skills that help me along the way. One of these skills is emotion-focused coping such as getting social support from others, regulating my emotions by giving myself time and space to notice and process my emotions, and then trying to appraise the situation in a way that helps me ease my negative emotions, or stepping back for a while to calm down and look at the situation from a different angle. Another skill that is quite helpful when facing uncertainty or any sort of change is the ability to see things as opportunities to grow, rather than as threats to my plans or goals. This involves a healthy awareness that change is important and will require some extra attention, information-gathering, and focus on my part. I also take this opportunity to review my habits and see whether I need to make any changes.

I know that if I spend all my time and energy coming up with the best beginning, I will be stuck and never be able to start at all. I don’t necessarily change my goals. In fact, in many cases, my goals stay the same, but I change my strategies or tactics.

Thinking and dreaming is good but not sufficient for a good life – personally or professionally. A good life requires action; actually doing things. Plan, make changes/adjustments as quickly as possible, and don’t be afraid to go back and make changes if you need to. Don’t let worrying replace planning.