Resentment doesn’t announce itself loudly. It lingers beneath the surface, showing up indirectly: in a passive-aggressive text, an awkward silence after a sharp joke, a harsh remark disguised as feedback, or the quiet frustration of watching someone do what you never allow yourself to.

Growth and healing get all the spotlight—empowering, life-changing, thrilling. But here’s the part no one puts on an inspirational poster: it’s lonely too.

It’s the kind of loneliness where you feel alienated because the people around you resist, reject, or even criticise your changes.

What wouldn’t we do out of boredom? In 2019, a story went viral about a security guard in Wisconsin working the night shift at a Bath & Body Works. Out of sheer boredom, he decided to handcuff himself, just for the thrill of it.
The problem? He had left the key at home. The night ended with an embarrassed call to the police.

Sometimes, we act in ways that others quickly label as “illogical” or an “overreaction,” but not all seemingly irrational behaviour is as senseless as it appears.

Think about how often we interpret others' negative actions as being directed at us, even when they aren't.

After a recent parent-teacher meeting, a friend of mine called me, clearly anxious. Her son’s teacher described him as relaxed, sociable, and well-mannered, but at home, she often saw him withdrawn and irritable. She worried she might be dealing with a mini Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde—like her son was leading a double life. “Should I be concerned?” she asked.

One of the bittersweet realities of growing up was coming to terms with the fact that my parents didn’t give me everything I needed as a kid, and that they probably never would.

It’s bittersweet because while seeing the gaps left by unmet needs hurts, there’s also a sense of relief in letting go of impossible expectations.

Imagine you have a magic wand, and with it, two choices: you can either use it to fight against the bad—things like violence and crime—or to nurture the good, like harmony and peace. Which would you choose?

We can’t seem to stop telling others how to live their lives: what to eat, how much to exercise, how to raise a kid, what to believe, or even how to manage our ADHD.

Advice is everywhere, handed out like free samples at a grocery store.

Ever had a feeling that just wouldn’t leave, like an unwanted guest who overstays?

Maybe you’re still feeling the disappointment of missing out on that promotion, days after the news. Or you’ve been anxious for what feels like forever because of a difficult conversation you’re dreading.

Your partner has been coughing and struggling with a sore throat for weeks. They’re very uncomfortable, hoping it will go away, but it isn’t. What do you do?

Chances are, you’d gently suggest, “Hey, what about seeing a doctor?”

Ever been told you must love yourself before you can truly love others?

Or that you need to accept yourself first before you can show acceptance toward others?

You know, those feel-good, self-help mantras that are supposed to unlock the secret to all things love and connection?

Every day, we’re hit with a flood of heartbreaking news: wars destroying lives, economic and political problems breaking hopes, poverty leading to suffering, racism splitting us apart, crime taking lives and spreading fear, and climate change threatening our future.

“I don’t feel lonely when I’m alone,” I said to a friend. “I feel lonely when he is half-listening.”

This form of loneliness isn’t born from solitude but from half-hearted engagements. It’s a common frustration in relationships, where genuine connections give way to distracted attention.

In my “What to do when you feel like a small fish in a big pond” post, I touched on the discomfort we might feel when stepping into something new and challenging. This discomfort can be daunting, bringing intense self-doubt and impostor feelings.

Ever felt like “a big fish in a small pond” at some point in your life? That’s right, just like the one in the picture above.

Back in 2015, fresh from a painful breakup, I was about to deliver a speech to a large audience. Overwhelmed with sadness and exhaustion, I felt completely drained. I had extensive public speaking experience, but this time felt different.

Recently, while both working and enjoying a cup of coffee at a café, I couldn’t help but overhear a couple's conversation. I didn't catch the entire discussion, but one line stood out: "Tell me one thing you always wanted me to do differently but you have never mentioned."

I’ve just revisited the TV series “The Mentalist,” and it’s reminded me of how personality differences can be both a curse and a blessing in relationships.

Patrick Jane, the charming mentalist, joins forces with Theresa Lisbon, the by-the-book detective.

“Why can’t I just rid myself of this sadness?” my friend said. “I can delete an unwanted photo or donate old clothes. It’d be so convenient if I could do the same with emotions.”

In the first part, I discussed the close relationship between conflict and connection and shared three essentials to improve the way we approach and handle conflicts in relationships.

Now, let’s build on that with two more tips aimed at easing tensions in our interactions and creating a lighter atmosphere.