How to cultivate meaning in life

We are all faced with challenging, yet essential questions that help us understand meaning and purpose in life. Do I feel that my life is meaningful? Are there things that give me purpose? What matters to me the most in life? We ask these questions because we have the inherent desire to make sense of ourselves, the world around us, and life in general. We also want to feel worthy and find some sort of significance and direction in our lives.  

Although meaning is a big aspect of our lives, some of us might get scared thinking that meaning belongs to only certain groups of individuals such as those who are spiritual, religious, or philosophers. For some, it might sound like a sophisticated phrase associated with knowing a lot about everything. However, meaning is not something that is relevant to certain groups of people, it’s for everyone. Every individual experiences meaning; some more, some less. We all search for meaning in varying degrees, whether consciously or subconsciously. 

 Meaning is a fundamental part of my life. I cannot imagine living a life which doesn’t feel meaningful. I love discovering meaning almost on a daily basis. I love creating meaning in different aspects of my life. And I look forward to a future which will feel as meaningful as it does today. If you’re interested in the concept of meaning and how you can cultivate more meaning in your life, either your personal or professional lives, here is a piece that might give you some idea. 

What Is Meaning and Why Does It Matter?

Although there are different approaches to meaning, most researchers define meaning in life (not ‘of’ life) as the ability to make sense of and understand one’s inner self and outer world, how one fits within the world, and whether one perceives his/her life to be significant and purposeful. We constantly ask ourselves whether life is worth living, whether we have value as a human being, whether we are connected to others who we care about, and whether we have goals that we strive for, all of which refer to different aspects of meaning. 

Purpose is an important aspect of meaning and sometimes purpose and meaning are used interchangeably but meaning is more than purpose. Meaning is also about understanding how we relate to others and the world around us and how we make sense of it. It’s about taking responsibility for our behaviours, following our values, making choices, and about continuous personal growth. It is about self-understanding and self-awareness; embracing ourselves with our flaws and weaknesses. It is also about embracing the unknown and the pain: asking ourselves what we could have done differently or better. On the other hand, meaning is not something that we either have or don’t have. It’s not a “thing” that we can grasp. It is not an achievement. Meaning is an experience and an ongoing process. It is not static either; it changes throughout life. What gives our lives meaning at one point may not be that worthwhile later.  

There is a reason why meaning has become a popular research topic in the last few decades: a sense of meaning is good and has a lot of benefits. Research evidence shows that meaning contributes to our physical and emotional wellbeing: those who perceive their life as meaningful live longer, report frequent positive emotions, tend to be more satisfied with their lives, acquire effective coping strategies, are more successful, and have reduced risk for certain illnesses such as cardiac events. Meaning also gives us a sense of agency and control, and an expectation that good things might happen in the future (i.e., optimism). While we thrive when we’re making meaning, we feel frustrated and our lives lack purpose when there is a lack of meaning. 

Given the positive impact that meaning has on our lives, we might wonder whether it is possible to develop and foster meaning. Researchers and practitioners have identified various meaning-oriented interventions which might potentially promote meaning and purpose. Although I’m not going to talk about the whole set of interventions, I’ll give you some practical exercises that can at least help you understand the meaning in your life better; what matters to you the most in life, what direction you are going to, and how you can discover more meaning.  

How Can We Make Meaning?  

Michael Steger and his colleagues found that actively searching for meaning and seeing it as an end goal might lower our wellbeing. Therefore, rather than setting meaning as a goal, perceiving it as a side-effect of other goals and activities (e.g., connecting to others or helping others) might serve better. We don’t have to ‘pursue’ meaning, but we can do something about it. After all, nobody will bring a bag full of meaning to be consumed. In fact, a study by Russo-Netzer showed that the more we prioritise daily activities that are intrinsically meaningful, the higher will be our wellbeing. In other words, we should intentionally seek out activities and make choices conducive to experiencing meaning (as opposed to seeking meaning itself).

 It’s important to note that there is no single way to find meaning; what makes your life meaningful is a personal quest. Some people may find more meaning in their jobs, some in their families, some in friendship, and some in nature or arts. Some people attach a lot of importance to “things” and have a materialistic perspective, while some find more meaning in helping others and thinking about something bigger than themselves. But most of us normally have multiple meanings; that is, we find meaning in many different things. In general, the most meaningful activities allow us to feel competent, feel valued by others, and give us a sense of agency and control. 

 In the following paragraphs, I have discussed some exercises and tips around how to build more meaning in life through values, strengths, purpose, goals, significance, and sense of belonging and serving. 

Understanding and Reflecting on Values

Values might sound really abstract to you but try to think about values as guiding principles and source of motivation for our behaviours. Values are also the building blocks of goals; we set goals in line with our values. They are not something that can be achieved but rather followed. The more values-based actions we have in life, the more meaning we experience. 

Many people either don’t think much about values, or have adopted the values of people around them. However, when thinking about values and taking actions, it is fundamental that those values should be the ones that ‘you’ care about, not the people around you. We sometimes have the tendency to prioritise things according to what others expect from us, but when it comes to values, they only make sense when they are freely chosen by us and reflect our own frame of reference.  

In order to identify and focus on “what matters to us the most” and “what’s worthwhile to us”, in other words, our core values, there are simple exercises that might help us. The basic idea is finding our deep values which give direction to our actions. First, if you’d like to get familiar with values, you might want to look for a list of values that can help you find the ones that you associate yourself with. A simple Google search should work. Then consider what you most value (or care about) in different areas of your life (e.g., work, relationships, leisure time). After writing them down, ask yourself why they are important to you. For example, if you think that kindness is something that you value the most in your relationships with others, you can try to identify the function of kindness in your life and how it helps you or your relationships.   

Another question you can think about is how focusing on these values might motivate you to take small actions and do something new, to bring you closer to living the life that you want today. Try to notice how those values might bring more meaning to your life today and your future. For example, if honesty is one of your core values, asking yourself what you might do to move in line with honesty and what different actions you can take in the future that are consistent with honesty can give you new directions. 

Other questions that might help are: “Are my actions consistent with my core values?”, “How does this value reflect the person I want to become?”, “What can I do today to show value-based action?” and “How can I protect my values?”

Knowing and Using Your Strengths

Another way to build meaning is to have an understanding of the nature of our strengths and intentionally capitalising on the things that we are good at, that energise and motivate us. Strengths are the ways of behaving, feeling, or thinking that we have a capacity for. When we use our strengths, we feel joy, excitement and vitality. Research shows that strengths allow us to achieve optimal functioning in different areas of our lives and endorsing our strengths to a higher degree is associated with perceiving our lives to be meaningful. Meaning in life has a lot to do with our choices and priorities. This is also where character strengths can play an important role in cultivating meaning in daily life. 

Examples of strengths are gratitude, compassion, kindness, social intelligence, leadership, courage, creativity, humour and curiosity. The first step is noticing and getting to know more about your strengths. You can take this survey to identify your top character strengths. The next step will be asking yourself how you can use your top 3 to 5 strengths in your daily life to a greater extent and come up with new ways of exhibiting them. For example, if curiosity is one of your top strengths, how can you use it to plan your day to experience more meaning? What are some of the ways that you can use curiosity in your life in a way you haven’t tried before? You can also consider paying attention to how you feel when using your strengths. 

Finding Purpose and Setting Goals

Purpose is one of the most relevant constructs when it comes to meaning. Purpose refers to the aspirations and missions we have for our lives and our value-oriented goals. Having a purpose in life means having a commitment to something beyond the immediate. Purpose guides decisions and shapes our behaviours, and acts like a principle that organises our lives. It is, however, not inherently known. People are not born knowing their purpose. Therefore, purpose is something that we need to find or create. 

 Goals are different from purpose. You need to have well-defined goals and intentionally show an effort to accomplish them in order to live a purposeful life. A sense of purpose leads us to identify certain goals for ourselves which we can strive to achieve.  

Some of the questions that can help us identify and work on our purpose and goals are: 

• What is my life’s direction or aim? 

• What exactly do I want to accomplish? 

• What gives me a sense of purpose or mission in life?

• What will it look like when I reach my goals? 

• What have been my most important goals over the last few years? 

• What obstacles are there that might block my goals? 

• Which actions have I taken in life that are goal-driven? 

• How can I find new ways of striving for my goals? 

 Note that working on our values and strengths as well as engaging in activities that bring contribution to others (discussed below) all contribute to our purpose as well. You can think of these concepts as interrelated where a change in one possibly affects the other.  

Constructing Life Narratives

A sense of self-understanding is the key to living a meaningful life. This understanding involves comprehension of things like self-attributes, personality, habits, beliefs, and roles. In order to have a unified understanding of yourself, working on life narratives might be a powerful tool given that narratives help us re-evaluate our past experiences into our current and future life context. 

 One exercise you can try is to reflect on your past life experiences and focus on a few areas in which you experienced growth. For example, you might have learned something new that significantly contributed to your life or gained an insight or a habit. What happened? Who were you with? What have you gained or learned? What positive change have you experienced? How can this growth give a direction to your future? 

You can also focus specifically on one or more adversities that you have had. How you overcame the adversity? How you coped with pain? What have you learned? How you have grown? etc. 

 Last but not the least, you can also look at events in the past where you felt a sense of pride, motivation, vitality, and competence. Try to describe them as vividly as possible. Where were you? Who were you with? What was your goal? How did you achieve your goals? What challenges did you face? How did you feel?

Serving and Contributing

We feel joy and a sense of meaning when we feel that we’re making a change in others or the world around us. Things like acts of kindness, helping or showing compassion to others not only make us feel happy, but also give us a sense of significance, and therefore contribute to meaning. 

 For example, research shows that volunteering has a considerable impact on increasing purpose and giving a sense of meaning by providing opportunities to feel significant as well as to feel a sense of directedness and a sense of belonging. Some of the questions that you might think of are: How can I contribute to something bigger than myself? How can I be of service to others? How can I connect with others to see that I can touch their lives in a positive way? 

 There are many ways you can engage in actions that involve serving such as volunteering in civic, private, or professional settings, participating in social responsibility projects, political engagement, or activism, and joining some community groups. 

The Takeaway 

As we have seen, having a meaningful life brings a lot of benefits. And although setting meaning as a goal might backfire, we can still look for ways that could lead to a meaningful life by asking questions such as “How can I make my life more meaningful?” and “How do I develop and cultivate a sense of meaning and purpose in my life?” 

The exercises and tips I shared with you might be quite helpful in leading a more meaningful life. However, their effectiveness has not been rigorously tested. There is evidence that such exercises are helpful in increasing overall wellbeing, but whether they really contribute to creating meaning is less clear.  

We should appreciate that meaninglessness is not the opposite of meaningfulness. We can have both at the same time. The art of living is to experience and handle both. We should accept the fact that there is uncertainty in life, that we have limitations, weaknesses, flaws, and may be limited options. Life comes with discomfort and we should learn to be comfortable with it. We can have a meaningful life despite meaninglessness or discomfort, and by finding a balance between things we can and cannot control. 

Lastly, if you find the right practitioner for yourself, counselling and psychotherapy can also be very powerful in finding meaning in life whether you’re experiencing a specific difficulty or psychological problem in your life.

References

Baumeister, R. F.; Vohs, K. D., Aaker, J. L., Garbinsky, E. N. (2013). Some key differences between a happy life and a meaningful life. The Journal of Positive Psychology. 8 (6), 505–516. 

Chen, Y., Kim. E. S., Koh, H.K., Frazier, A. L., & VanderWeele, T.J. (2019). Sense of mission and subsequent health and well-being among young adults: An outcome-wide analysis. American Journal of Epidemiology, 188, 664-673.

Cohen, R., Bavishi, C., & Rozanski, A. (2016). Purpose in Life and Its Relationship to All-Cause Mortality and Cardiovascular Events. Psychosomatic Medicine, 78(2), 122–133. 

King, L. A., Hicks, J. A., Krull, J. L., & Del Gaiso, A. K. (2006). Positive affect and the experience of meaning in life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 90(1), 179–196. 

Martela, F., Steger, M. F. (2016). The three meanings of meaning in life: Distinguishing coherence, purpose, and significance. Journal of Positive Psychology, 11, 531-545. 

Russo-Netzer, P. (2018). Prioritizing Meaning as a Pathway to Meaning in Life and Well-Being. Journal of Happiness Studies, 20, 1863-1891.

Schnell, T., & Hoof, M. (2012). Meaningful commitment: Finding meaning in volunteer work. Journal of Beliefs & Values, 33(1), 35-53.

Steger, M. F., Kashdan, T. B. (2007). Stability and specificity of meaning in life and life satisfaction over one year. Journal of Happiness Studies, 8, 161-179. 

Steger, M. F., Oishi, S., & Kashdan, T. B. (2009). Meaning in life across the life span: Levels and correlates of meaning in life from emerging adulthood to older adulthood. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 4(1), 43–52. 

Unanue, W., Rempel, K., Gómez, M. E., & Van den Broeck, A. (2017). When and Why Does Materialism Relate to Employees’ Attitudes and Well-being: The Mediational Role of Need Satisfaction and Need Frustration. Frontiers in Psychology, doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01755.